So, it’s been a few years. My hair is grayer, my face is more lined and has more sun damage and I hope I’m wiser. But many things haven’t changed – chaos is still our most prolific crop!
Recap to summarize who we are: I’m Mindy, wildly in love with Ace, who was born to be a cowboy, but didn’t become one until his mid-40s. We have a large, blended family and strive to center our lives on Jesus Christ. We bought a pasture during a moment of temporary insanity during the COVID lockdown and have filled it to overflowing with living things since then. Two of our eight children still live at home, the Dreamy One and the Literal One (see the OG About Us for more details). Most of our adult kids live locally, many are married now and we have a reliable supply of grandkids happening! We intend to be Highland Cattle breeders, but have found ourselves in the roles of goat wranglers, duck parents, crazy cat ladies, mediocre gardeners, fence builders, fence repairers, donkey scratchers, beekeepersowners and just tired, dirty people.
But this blog isn’t the only thing I started ignoring in 2023. Toward the end of 2022, my dear friend and co-worker was diagnosed with melanoma. At work we literally referred to her as The Executioner because she had an incredible ability to get things done. She had worked with me at a previous job and had become a close friend. She filled in my gaps at work and at home. I’m an ideas person, full of energy and willingness, but I usually have no plan for how to make things happen. She always knew what to do next.
Since I’m sure you have noticed that I am referring to her in the past tense, I’ll go ahead and put it out there that she passed away in December of 2024. The battle raged throughout 2023 and she was amazing. I watched her realize and admit that she had not paid enough attention to God during her life and then I watched her make up for lost time with the time she had left, witnessing to nurses and doctors and other patients. For my part, I learned a whole new vocabulary and how to read PET scan results. I went with her to doctor appointments, immunotherapy treatments and about a million procedures, as if I could do something about this problem. I wrestled with the Lord in prayer. She was barely 40 and had a 3-year-old. I could not understand.
In the spring of 2024, just when her cancer had shown itself to be winning, I got in between two of our dogs when they were fighting and got bitten. Badly. My left hand has never and will never be the same. So my farming activity came to a screeching halt. We still had all the animals and responsibilities, but I did not do my part. They got fed, but that was about all.
The chickens and goats had tunneled their way under all the fences – I did not repair them – so now there are animals everywhere! The ducks spread like wildfire and we did no butchering – so now there is poop everywhere! Some barn cats were lured through the dog door by the Dreamy One and they had babies behind my washing machine. And now there are cats everywhere. Along the way we ended up with some ‘special’ animals that got treated like pets and now we have a whole population of critters on the back porch that think they are dogs!
But here’s why I think I’m wiser: I learned that it all matters, just not the way I thought it did.
During my friend’s illness I told myself nothing else mattered, the blog, the farm, our plans – I told myself it was all unworthy of my time and energy when there were eternal matters at stake. Who cares whether I feed my family homegrown food or whether I manage my resources well while she is fighting for her life?
I thought I could control things that were out of my hands but then gave up control of things that were my responsibility. I was focused on the earthly outcomes of my actions – homegrown food = healthier people, etc. So when I was faced with the reality that we are not promised tomorrow and I am not in charge of who gets sick and who gets healed, I gave up.
But the point is to trust and obey God. He is good. He is faithful and He is sovereign. I’m called to love and care for my family, I’m called to be a good steward of the blessings the Lord has given me, and that matters simply because He has told me to do it.
I do not regret the time that I spent with my friend, even to the neglect of my other responsibilities, because I know she felt loved and blessed. Without even knowing it or doing it on purpose, I was showing her the sacrificial love of Christ. In that way, I got to participate in eternal matters. I do, however, regret the evenings, weekends and every spare moment I spent researching the internet, reading medical journals and ignoring my own life as though I was going to find the hidden cure.
So, it’s taken a while, but I’m back. I want to share our stories and our faith. We have so many funny, sweet, heartbreaking and heartwarming things that happen on our crazy farm. If you like that kind of thing, this blog will be a blessing.